College is a turning point in the relationship between you, as a parent or
guardian, and your son or daughter. By living on their own — many for the
first time — freshmen will have additional freedom, responsibility, and
control over their own decisions.
However, many young adults have yet to develop personal values or limits regarding
alcohol use.
The easy availability of alcohol and its excessive use are issues that college
campuses are struggling with every day. UW–Madison is deeply concerned about
the negative consequences of high-risk drinking, for the drinker and also
for friends, roommates, and classmates. Local research shows that these consequences
can include disrupted sleep or studies; unplanned and unprotected sexual contact;
sexual or physical violence; vandalism; or nights that end at the detoxification
center.
The university believes that you, as a parent, can be an essential partner
in efforts to address this situation. Although your student is now in college,
we know that you can continue to play a positive and influential role. Conversations
about important topics such as alcohol use can have a lasting impact. We encourage
you to talk openly and honestly about alcohol use before your student arrives
on campus.
Ideas to discuss together are included below. They were prepared by staff members
of the PACE Project, a coalition working to reduce the consequences of high-risk
drinking, and the Offices of the Dean of Students. Additional content was provided
by the Higher Education Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Prevention.
Be
aware that it really could be your child who is making unwise decisions
about alcohol. We know from experience that parents are often surprised and shocked
to learn that their child has gotten into trouble because of excessive drinking.
We also know that this doesn’t mean you are an ineffective or uncaring parent.
This period of transition to adulthood and independence presents difficult new
choices to students, and they don't always make good decisions.
Share
information about your own experiences with alcohol as a young adult. Did you
choose to drink? Why or why not? Did you experience any negative consequences
related to your alcohol use?
Avoid
tales of drinking exploits from your own college years. Laughing about the “good
old days” appears to give your stamp of approval to irresponsible behavior.
Today’s college students do not drink for the same reasons that students
drank 25 years ago. Today, twice as many students drink with the intention of
getting drunk, compared to 1980.
Be
a role model. It’s important for students to see the adults that they respect
enjoying themselves at events without alcohol, and drinking sensibly when alcohol
is present.
Express
your expectations and values clearly and directly. Rather than telling your student
that you hope he or she “makes smart decisions,” be specific. If you
don’t want your student to consume alcohol as an underage adult, say so.
Also, talk specifically about your values regarding illicit drug use.
Explain
that while you continue to care about your child’s welfare, you are no longer
in a position to protect against potentially harmful consequences of personal
choices. Excessive drinking presents serious health risks, from both the chemical
effects of alcohol and the accidental harm that can come to students when they
are intoxicated. Underage drinking is against the law in Wisconsin and can carry
significant legal, academic, and financial consequences. Help them understand
the magnitude of these risks.
If
your student chooses to drink, focus on strategies for low-risk alcohol consumption.
Vague messages about “being a responsible drinker” lack clear direction
about how to moderate their drinking. Discuss specific behavioral limits that
you expect your son or daughter to follow, such as no more than three drinks in
one night, using a designated driver, and avoiding sexual activity while under
the influence.
Mention
these other strategies for low-risk consumption: eat a meal before drinking, consume
no more than one drink per hour, always know what is in a drink, alternate nonalcoholic
drinks throughout the evening, and plan in advance how to get home safely.
Talk
about the importance of friendship and individuality. Remember that young adults
truly want to be accepted by their peers and perceived as “normal.”
Have a frank discussion about what it means to live with integrity according to
one’s values. Talk about the true meaning of friendship, and share an example
of a time when you have confronted a close friend about their unhealthy or problematic
behavior.
Set
clear and realistic expectations regarding academic performance. When students
do not succeed at UW–Madison, alcohol is often a major factor. Some students may
be less likely to abuse alcohol if they are aware of their parents’ expectations
of academic performance. Others may turn to intense partying as a response to
the stress caused by the pressure to excel. A balanced set of academic goals
that is reasonable for your student may help them maintain a healthy campus life.
Encourage
your student to explore all the social options on campus. Plenty of campus activities
do not include alcohol, including recreational sports, volunteer groups, student
government, and special-interest clubs (see list of links above). The Wisconsin Union also coordinates a wide range of late-night activities that many students enjoy
instead of visiting campus-area bars or house parties. By exploring these options,
students may meet others who share interests that don’t involve drinking.
If you have questions or would like more information about any issues relating
to alcohol use at UW–Madison, please send email to pace@news.wisc.edu.
